#thanks gffa (◡‿◡✿)

[lauransoverthinking]

Currently overthinking: how obsessed some of fandom is with the idea of punishment for the sake of punishment, instead of learning from mistakes, and how the Jedi are very clearly team learn and grow.

The most “punishment” thing I can think of that we see the Jedi do is assigning Ahsoka to archives duty, but that is clearly meant as ‘get you off the front lines and have you reflect on your actions’ time, not so much a true punishment.

Where we see the Jedi go hard on proclaiming their allegiance to team learn and grow is Dark Disciple (if you haven’t read and don’t want to be spoiled, turn back now because I am about to spoil the shit out of that book).

Vos falls.

Not just dabble a little in the dark side falls.

Falls and pledges himself to Dooku and kills Jedi and clones.

Jedi Knight Kav Bayons

Jedi Knight Akar-Deshu

They died because of Vos.

It can be argued it was unintentional (Vos shoved Deshu into Bayons causing Deshu to sting Bayons. Losing his stinger also would have killed Deshu, but Vos killed him first) but that doesn’t change the fact that Vos is responsible for the deaths of two Jedi, as well as the clones killed in his escape with Dooku (catch me being forever salty over the unnamed clones who die).

He goes by Admiral Enigma and terrorizes the GAR for months.

When the story resolves and Vos returns to the light, do we see him thrown in prison? Executed?

No. We don’t see either of those things.

We see the council intentionally obfuscate and hide these facts from the military (because the military does love punishment and executions).

We see Vos confined to the temple while he heals.

We see Master Yoda spend extra time with him to ensure he rehabilitates successfully.

We see a probationary period to determine if he has really came back to the light.

This is extra important because earlier in the story we saw him return to the Jedi and fool them (some of them, Master Windu was so suspicious of him because Master Windu is a smart smart person)!

And yet, they still believed that he could return to the light and should be given that opportunity.

And he does! He comes back. And he resumes his role in the war. And when everything falls apart he continues trying to help.

And he gets that opportunity because the Jedi do not believe in punishment as justice the way some do.

Repentance and growth. That is the Jedi.

And yet, every day, I see people trying to set the Jedi up as enforcers of prison terms and executioners, because they don’t think people got what they ‘deserved’ in canon.

But that is all a gross misrepresentation of the Jedi.

Ahsoka’s trial and possible execution was not the way the Jedi would have proceeded- it was the GAR and the Republic. Which is probably why the GAR ensured the Jedi couldn’t handle it themselves - there would have been no justice theatre and no blood.

It is not pro-Jedi to insist on punishment and retribution as justice. At its heart, punishment is revenge. And revenge is not the Jedi way.

[brazen-kenobi]

listen if i didn't believe obikin before, these novels keep convincing me. the way obi-wan and anakin are absolutely obsessed with each other. they think of each other constantly even after rots and their longing just. god.

[tennessoui]

“… Obi-Wan responds by ripping his throat out with his teeth.”

And then they fuck, right??

oooo right in front of dooku's cooling corpse???

i think after obi-wan kills him, he does a total shift into loth-wolf sized feral wolf (feral because of the perceived threat to anakin, the amount of time he's been under the full moons, and in general he's kept such a tight leash on himself since he was a youngling that now he's just lost all control) and only anakin is allowed to approach him. the clones smell too unfamiliar, too bloody, too much like an enemy. but anakin smells like home. safe. kin. mate.

so anakin wrangles him onto the ship but they can't leave immediately because of hand-wavey convenient astroid belt shower that they can't get through, so obi-wan is still a wolf and will be until they leave the planet...so they go to sleep with obi-wan flopped out on top of anakin like the galaxy's most deadly space heater, only for anakin to wake up hours later to a fully human but still ruled by his instincts!obi-wan, who is grinding up against him and switching between growls and whines and repetitions of his name

and then they fuck

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

SQUEAKED IT. 24K WORDS AND THE CHAPTER IS FINISHED. WE'RE ROLLING. WHY ARE THE CHAPTERS GETTING LONGER. HALP.

[thelearnedsoldiertoo]

Kadi Kidiss, Champion!

The SFW version of the piece by @cadhla182 for the winner of my Tumblr OC Sexy(wo)man showdown, Kadi Kidiss. Short summary; she's a Clone Trooper, CT-9869, who was among the first to desert the Empire after Order 66. She joined a Mandalorian clan, Clan Kidiss, who were among the first factions to join the rebellion against the Empire, as early as 14 BBY. She's a heavy weapons specialist, a decent pilot, and an absolute fuckboi of a butch lesbian. Like she is the clan bicycle for horny gay ladies. And proud of it.

Her armour is symbolic, though most of it's off here--rebellion, vengeance, justice, redemption--but the important bit is her hair means 'loving/in love' but in this context basically signifies 'DTF'. So.

Anyway my Tumblr followers apparently decided she was my sexiest OC, so she got a special piece done of her. Enjoy!

[enigma-absolute]

❤️🤍💭 for the emoji character ask game, if you want to play and you have an character you want to talk about!

💭 - What’s your OC’s MBTI, enneagram, and/or other personality aspects (if known/interested in)?

I’m gonna answer this one first because quite simply - no clue! Personality tests haven’t really been a big deal for Maddox, or even myself since I lost interest in them.

That being said, I DID do a bunch of quizzes as part of a character development challenge, and it’s linked in the google doc shown.

🤍 - What are 3 of your OC’s neutral/negative traits?

Because of the Empire’s top secret experiments, Maddox has certain targeted retrograde amnesia that shattered any trust he could��ve had with it. As for now, that still impacts his memory - though he is recovering from it with help from the Force. But about that memory recovery…

His (self-admitted) limited knowledge on the GFFA can make him both an asset and a hinderance in certain aspects. He knows that the Rebels will win in the end, but his assurance of it can lead him to being cocky and overconfident. It’s easy to have a zealous hopeful streak when you know the end from the beginning.

At the same time, Maddox’s memory recovery isn’t a linear process either. There’s the good and bad memories, and the first bunch of bad ones about who he used to be genuinely sent him on a depressive spiral. If he doesn’t keep himself in check and surround himself with allies and friends, he’ll be prone to being affected by his own grief and despise on his past self.

❤️- What are three of your OC’s positive traits?

Maddox is recently finding that he likes being more physically affectionate in a platonic sense than his past self would’ve, being a complete sucker for hugs and stoked to even just be in the company of friends. Learning and being able to love and love abundantly without hiding it has done good for him, even in espionage.

Related to the above, if he’s put in a team of any kind, he’ll work to make sure that everyone is at least on some version of good terms, and seek to see that everyone is safe as they can be and get the help they need if they aren’t. He may not always get it right, but he cares.

He’s a quick thinker on his feet and even if it doesn’t work, will seek out and put to action a plan of some kind with a bit of improvisation and the Force.

[fridayincarnate]

I choose...✏️ grit

Smart choice - I have a history of overusing this, haha. I'm honestly surprised there aren't more instances.

WIP 1, political marriage AU:

"Excuse us for a moment, Major," she says through gritted teeth, her hand digging into Ben’s arm.

WIP 2, the sabotage through mindfuckery fic:

Hux adds his assent through gritted teeth.

&

Hux grits his teeth as he watches a gap open up in their defenses which he can do nothing to shore up—it isn’t his task, and it would likely create more chaos if their forces receive conflicting orders.

✏️ Send me a word and if it’s in one of my WIP documents I’ll reply with the sentence that it's in!

[thunderin-brainstorm]

Ohkaali wasn't really expecting to ever be a proper Knight, she figured she was too precocious to be taken as a Padawan, so imagine her surprise and outright panic when, instead of asking her friend Komari, Master Dooku asks her to be his Padawan. she spends about a week in an anxiety spiral over it before ultimately accepting, and then spends several years in a worse anxiety spiral about whether or not she's doomed herself to be preyed on by the Sith in the future. she tries not to worry about it. mostly what she has to worry about is her Master's disapproving looks when she is her typical kooky, abrupt, and very non-aristocratic self. (if she continues to worry that raised eyebrow might indicate anger which may prelude his fall... well that's for her to stress about privately)

[swficreference]

Introducing the Star Wars Reference Wiki!

Introducing the Star Wars Fic Reference Wiki, a wiki for fic writers by fic writers!

The Star Wars Fic Reference Wiki is intended as a way for fic writers and other fanwork creators to easily look up pertinent information without having to slog through dense paragraphs or comb through categories with dozens or even hundreds of entries with few indicators of what the pages are. Do you want lists? Do you want tables? Do you want easily digestible bullet points? We've got 'em!

We build pages from common questions we or other fic writers have, such as:

All these fics incorporate events from Jedi Apprentice, but what really happened to Obi-Wan Kenobi in Legends?

How do the stories in Revenge of the Sith and The Clone Wars mesh together?

Which characters are LGBTQIA+? Who are some LGBTQIA+ creators who have worked on a Star War? How about a timeline of LGBTQIA+ people and content?

BBY/ABY, BrS/GrS, BFE/AFE... what's the difference between these and all those other calendars? What calendar do characters use before the Battle of Yavin?

What are some idioms or kriffing swears this character could use to sound more Star Wars-y?

Does the GFFA have its own version of a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup?

What could be used as a pack animal in one of the many, many deserts?

Why does this fic call him "Yan" or "Glamnor" Dooku? Is her full name Padmé Amidala Naberrie or something else?

How many costumes does Padmé wear? What about other SW costumes?

What are some canonical design options for a Kiffar OC's facial tattoo?

Are these the droids you're looking for?

Are you constantly losing those handy tumblr posts compiling useful resources? We have a permanent page for that!

(Swears in light mode; LGBTQIA+ characters in dark mode)

We've only recently started building the wiki, and are creating new pages all the time! We'd love help or suggestions for new pages. Have you never edited a wiki before? No problem! We have a tutorial for that. Are you not super confident about your English? No worries! Other wiki editors are here to help! We have a Discord server for the wiki, and side channels for things like SW fic recs and general fan chat.

Thank you for initial brainstorming and showing us there was an interest in and audience for this wiki, from us (facingthenorthwind and immithrax) to you: @nimata-beroya, @cacodaemonia, @elismor, @genericficerblog, @seth-shitposts, @takadasaiko, and @virusq!

Many hands make great wikis, so please, come on over and join us, and check back to see what new things we have in store! If you find our pages useful, we'd also love if you could spread the word, so other people can make use of the resources we've worked hard to create.

[david-talks-sw]

Hello. You and GFFA are probably the two most reliable blogs I know when it comes to what GL actually intended with star wars and also have the most on point finger on the pulse of fandom and such without letting the discourse get to you. So I just have to ask. Where does the idea of the jedi being space cops come from in canon? Especially in more left leaning circles. Haven't they seen that there are indeed actual cops in SW? And who are portrayed like how leftists view cops?

Hey there!

Firstly, it's always an honor when someone puts me and Lumi in the same sentence 😃 been a while since I reminded people, but my blog started because I read hers (and a few others) and I was like "oh shit she makes great points!" and started doing the research on my own.

I mostly attribute my rediscovering my childhood love for the Jedi to her early meta posts. Like, you think I'm good, wait til she gets started again! So thank you, for that!

Onto the subject itself: I've seen the notion pop up in all circles. And it's not exactly wrong, it's just not entirely accurate.

You can find a large collection of George Lucas quotes here, about the Jedi's place in the Republic.

You will see that he uses varying terminology and that's what I think partially muddies the waters.

For example, early on, Lucas describes them as "police officers", but years later he says "they're not cops, they're Marshalls of the Old West" but actually "they're mafia dons" or "intergalactic therapists."

But the one that explains it best, for me, is the following:

"They're not like [the kind of] cops who catch murderers. They're warrior-monks who keep peace in the universe without resorting to violence. The Trade Federation is in dispute with Naboo, so the Jedi are ambassadors who talk both sides and convince them to resolve their differences and not go to war. If they do have to use violence, they will, but they are diplomats at the highest level. They've got the power to send the whole force of the Republic, which is 100,000 systems, so if you don't behave they can bring you up in front of the Senate. They'll cut you off at the knees, politically. They're like peace officers. As the situation develops in the Clone Wars they are recruited into the army, and they become generals. They're not generals. They don't kill people. They don't fight. They're supposed to be ambassadors." - The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005, 2020

Bottom line: yes, they're authority figures. But they're not "beat cops" chasing after robbers and criminals.

They're, first and foremost, ambassadors/negotiators/diplomats. They're police for planets and their governments, not the people of the Republic. Again:

They're peace officers.

Now, they can investigate and take more active "police-like" roles during their mandate, but they're not gonna be called upon to investigate a murder (unless that murder is very strange and local authorities are unable to make sense of it).

It's why, when Anakin is talking about "we'll search for the killer, Padmé" Obi-Wan is like "uuuuh... no we won't?"

[gffa]

Hello! Thank you again for answering my question about Jedi quarter doors having locks. I was wondering if personal photos are a thing in the gffa? I think I remember Ezra maybe having a picture of his family and there are of course paintings and portraits of people, but I can’t remember of personal photos are a thing. Thank you in advance if you end up answering!

Hi! This one took me a bit, because I really had to think about it, and ultimately I've come to the same conclusion: It's kind of up to you! You're right that Ezra had a holo of his parents but I don't think we've ever seen it in universe as anything but a holo. (You can find it as a picture in some reference books, but they're not in-universe.)

In Attack of the Clones, there are a couple of deleted scenes where they go to Padme's house on Naboo and all the pictures on the wall (including one in the dining room, as well as Padme's bedroom) are holos as well:

On the other hand, Hera has the physical painting of her family and Luke and Rey had the old Jedi physical books/texts, so we know physical forms do exist! But we don't really see that much paper in the GFFA, sure, it exists in books/comics as flimsi (or flimsiplast), but we don't really actually see it much, which-- oh, wait, okay, so you have just sent me down an awful rabbit hole here, because! I always assumed that flimsi and paper were the same thing--and they probably are to most authors in Lucasfilm, I'd bet--but the novel "The Rebellion Begins" by Michael Kogge says they're actually different things:

Which blew my mind! But doesn't answer the question, other than that paper and flimsi were pretty rare, but not totally unheard of. So that made me think, okay, personal photos were a thing, because physical material seemed to be seen as extremely rare/outdated, but then I remembered, there are posters plastered all along the walls in The Clone Wars in the Underworld:

I guess we can't say for sure those are paper or flimsi, but they sure do look like it to me. And the animators probably weren't thinking that hard about worldbuilding (flimsi has only ever appeared in the comics/novels, I think...?) so I think it's a mistake to try to insist that Star Wars is coherent when it comes to these things, and thus that ultimately means: Up to you! We've never seen paper/flimsi personal photos in Star Wars that I can remember, the two instances we do have in visual media are digital pictures, but there's content in TCW that such a thing could exist if you wanted, so pick whichever works for you! If pressed, I would say that someone could go out of their way to make a paper/flimsi photo of someone, but it would be an effort on their part and considered hundreds of years out of date, but, you know, some people like old-fashioned, less efficient things because they like the feel of them!

[ossidae-passeridae]

4. What’s the worst part of fanon? 😈

Question from here

That'd be the implicit racism thanks for asking!

A non snappy response, aka to explain what I mean by that:

A lot of fanon tropes implicitly reinforce a very white, America-centric POV, and in a universe like the GFFA which lies somewhere between heavily Asian-inspired and gloriously multicultural, that really rubs me the wrong way. (To clarify upfront: it is not racist or whatever to enjoy these tropes or to write them, but it worries me when people don't even seem to realise it)

An obvious, innocuous-seeming example is the tendency to use 'Ben' instead of Obi-Wan's actual name in AUs — especially when others' names (Anakin, Mace, Cody, etc) aren't changed as well. The biggest difference between those names and Obi-Wan's is that Obi-Wan's is obviously Asian inspired, and theirs aren't. It's not something I expect most people even think about! But it always leaves a sinking feeling in my chest.

(Obviously if, like in canon, Obi-Wan is using Ben as a pseudonym while in hiding that's a very different kettle of fish.)

A larger example is how incredibly common it is to cast the Jedi as space-Christians — some common examples being focus on tenets (the Jedi Code, which is a meditation mantra, not a rulebook), the pervasive Catholic Guilt which is very explicitly Christian in nature, the emphasis on worship as ritual rather than a state to work towards, the generalised "all organised religion must be Bad" sentiments that feel very specifically ex-Christian in nature.

Thinking about one's own religion and expressing thoughts through fiction/art isn't an issue in and of itself.

The thing is, the Jedi are explicitly based on Asian Buddhists. Not just in set dressing, but from the ground up, from their beliefs and the way they act, to their clothing to the structure of their temple — to strip that away is to remove what makes the Jedi the Jedi. It's to remove the Asian-ness and replace it with something predominantly white. It implies that Asian influence shouldn't or can't exist in the GFFA, or that there's something inferior or wrong about Buddhism that needs to be "fixed".

Again this isn't something where I think that fan authors are sitting there going "muhahaha I'm going to be RACIST today", I know that's not what's happening. But when so much Jedi-centric content being produced minimises the Asian influence and pushes a western one, it starts to say "there's something wrong with this group, we're trying to erase it because there shouldn't be representation at all" — an issue of scale, at its core.

(Then ofc there's all the "the Jedi steal babies" and "the Jedi ban emotions" and "the Jedi need to be destroyed" which, entirely separate from the above, if you replace 'Jedi' with 'Buddhists' I'm kind of starting to wonder why you hate Asian people/Asian religions, you know?)

I won't even get into the fanon surrounding the clones, because that'd require me to talk about KT far more than I'd like to on any day, but especially today ��

(All opinions expressed above are solely those of pass e. ridae and do not express the views or opinions of any affiliates or associates, passerine or otherwise)

[enigma-absolute]

13 and 3 for the ask game, perhaps??

3. What tropes do you like writing about the most? (´▽`ʃƪ)

That's honestly a good question, now that I look over my works, both original and fic. I think the thing that crops up the most in both sections is legacy - legacy characters, roles and how we all deal with it and inherit it. I think it really comes from my own experience of being the first freeborn daughter of two different families who escaped Communist Romania prior to the revolution, and the struggles they had to get their freedom. It gives me a lot to think on family legacy in my case, both ancestral and more personal, as I have found myself associating with my mom's inheritance more than I could my dad's.

In the Eagle's Cross Eddsworld universe, Cora and her siblings in the titular series have different ways of reacting to and embracing their ancestors' adventurous, if admittedly outlandish, histories and personalities. In 'The Christmas Calamity,' Jaxx (one of the main characters) is first trying to outright refuse it, but eventually comes to fall in love with it on his own terms and terms he has to redefine. Cora herself in 'The Eagle's Cross' has still to unravel some (honestly very opaque) mysterious past with her ancestors and dragging in her little sister and her own best friend into it.

In my own original detective show, the main detective and her 'Watson' partner are chasing after her hero's own mysteries to solve and eventually have to come up and fight against his enemies; leading the way to find out that her hero's adventures, mysteries and stories entwine closely to her own history and potentially taking up the mantle he sacrificed to save her life.

With Maddox Darling and his adventures in the Galaxy Far Far Away, it's more subtle. The Peter Pan references and links are on purpose, but they're not direct or in-your-face (his surname, the pin he constantly wears from his sister, etc). That being said, while he does have Peter Pan tendencies, his role is more of a Wendy Darling situation, honestly. He'll grow up eventually, but it doesn't mean he'll forget his loves nor stop adventuring. His legacy is more about what he leaves behind on the galaxy's inhabitants circa the Imperial and Rebellion era, but also the kind of legacy they leave on him and how he'll eventually take it home. That's why I love doing RP with him, because he's literally quite a character to Throw Into Situations and I'm figuring out his canon as I go along.

13. Drop a playlist for a story! ♪♡♪

Speaking of Maddox, here's his (slightly old) origin story playlist! I'd crafted it when I was very early on in writing him and did it as part of a character challenge to develop him a little more, so I'll be explaining songs in chapters under the cut.

Life in Aus before the GFFA: Down Under by Men at Work and Slice of Heaven by Dave Dobbins

Going to the GFFA: Starlight Brigade by TWRP feat. Dan Avidan

Settling into the Rebellion and Rebel Life: Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede

Infiltrating the Ship and Imperial Capture: Last Surprise (Cover by Arc Tournament, feat Casey Lee Williams), Eide+Eide Fight (NITW OST)

The Amnesia Process: The Mind Electric by Miracle Musical, Unknowable (NITW OST)

Waking up, Wrecking up and Escaping the Empire's ship, Roaming After the Escape Pod Crash: Black (Homestuck cover by RichaadB), Run! (NITW OST), Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

Reaching through the Force and Recovering Memories: Thirteen (Doctor Who OST, Series 11)

Back to the Rebel Base and Into Regret (I Should Never Have Left Home): Shut Eye by Stealing Sheep, Timshel by Mumford and Sons, I Was Wrong by The Oh Hellos

Amnesia Aches, Grief with Benny and Learning to Grow: Ghost by Ellie Drennan, The Doctor’s Theme (Doctor Who OST, Series 1-2), I Have Made Mistakes by The Oh Hellos

Call to Hope and Adventure Once Again, To Be Continued (I Will Remember and Grow as I Go): And Straight On Till Morning by Marianas Trench, Binary Sunset (A New Hope OST, particularly the horns at the dual suns), Call Me (Cover by Sebastian Böhm)

[unspuncreature]

choices we all made when we were fine

i don’t think lighters like this actually exist in the gffa uhh. they do now ✌🏻

also we need more transmasc characters with visible phallo graft site scars. being the change i want to see in the world. thank you @theseptemberist for the idea

[tennessoui]

Hey I hope you're having a good day! I'm sure you've already got a handful of prompts but how about *shakes magic 8-ball* number 17, meeting at a party whilst drunk au!

hello thank you for sending this in!! i'm still working down my list of prompts, and this one is: meeting at a party whilst drunk

i took some liberties with the prompt here though, so really this is meeting (again after a long time) at a party whilst drunk

(2.8k) (gffa, anakin leaves the order after the war au)

Usually, Obi-Wan is better about this sort of thing. It is, after all, a matter of utmost importance. It’s a matter of survival. 

Usually, when he receives an invitation to an event, he does not commit himself to going until he can complete some reconnaissance about the other guests invited. Until he knows beyond a reasonable doubt that Anakin Skywalker, ex-Jedi and current husband to Senator Amidala, will not be in attendance.

It is much better this way. For everyone involved, really, but especially for Obi-Wan and his poor fool’s heart. It is much better if they keep an entire planet between themselves these days—preferably multiple planets. Preferably half a galaxy.

But this is a retirement party for Bail, and Obi-Wan cannot miss it. His old friend deserves better than that, better than Obi-Wan’s cowardice getting in the way of a celebration of his decades-long career in the Senate.

So he accepts the invitation without researching the guest list. He thinks—he hopes—that in the past nine years, Anakin Skywalker’s intense dislike of Bail Organa has not waned. Anakin, when Obi-Wan knew him, when he was Obi-Wan’s—Obi-Wan’s padawan—had a tendency to make a snap judgement about someone and never change his opinion. 

His hatred had been like an impenetrable wall, unchanging and immovable.

His love had ebbed and flowed, drowned out by his anger or his irritation, coming in great waves when he was in a fine mood and resembling a desert’s drought when he was upset.

But his hatred had always been unshakable once assigned. The very first time Obi-Wan saw it in Anakin’s eyes when he looked at him, a year after he left the Order and the last time they'd seen each other, he’d known for a fact that he’d lost him. That the love had dried up and gone and that it would never return. It’d felt like watching Anakin leave the Temple all over again, like a hand clenched around his heart squeezing and squeezing and squeezing.

So he hopes that Anakin has chosen not to attend Bail’s retirement party. Oh, he knows that Anakin’s wife is here, and he has already downed two flutes of sparkling wine to prepare himself for the sight of her looking resplendent across the ballroom, but he hopes that Anakin has chosen to stay home instead of wasting an evening fawning over a man he never liked in the first place.

Besides, someone should look after the children. They’re nine now, Obi-Wan knows. If they are anything like Anakin was at that age, they must need constant supervision. And he has already seen Senator Amidala once tonight from afar, knows that she is here amongst the party-goers.

He tightens his grip on his fourth flute of wine and turns his attention back to his conversation partner. 

It is rather rude to be so preoccupied in the midst of a conversation with another, but Obi-Wan is an old man now and a war hero. He’s allowed to get away with much more these days than he could in the past.

“Yes, I admit the Jedi Order still has far to go in order to rebuild itself,” he says, mind torn between the small talk and the drink in his hand. These sorts of conversations are easy to have. Yes, the war took a lot out of the Jedi Order. Yes, we are still working through the damages and the trauma. Yes, it’s been ten years since, but sometimes it feels as if it was only yesterday. Yes, sometimes it feels as if I am still fighting.

And then—

Then the woman he is talking to grows bold. She rests her hand on his forearm, the one that is holding the flute of wine, and steps closer.

And in the Force, there is a rumbling of pure, visceral hatred, the sort Obi-Wan has only ever felt in the air a few times.

The sort that is achingly, distressingly familiar.

He turns his head, even though he knows he should not look. He knows looking will take him out at the knees. He knows he may never recover if he looks.

He turns his head and he looks anyway. There, across the room, standing to the left of a load bearing pillar is the drawn and furious face of Anakin Skywalker, ex-Jedi, ex-padawan.

Obi-Wan’s first thought is that he looks older, though he realizes a moment later how absolutely inane that is. Of course he looks older. It has been nine years since he really talked to him, eight years since he last saw him, and he has tried to avoid any news or photos about the man at all. In his mind, he is still as he was in those days and months following the end of the war. But logically, he knows that the time has passed, that not even the Chosen One is immune to aging.

Anakin’s hair is streaked with shoots of silver. It’s short now, cropped close to his head though still curling as much as he lets it. His face is worn, wrinkled in different, unfamiliar places. He is wearing finery befitting that of a senator’s husband, the color of a midnight sky.

It is strangely comforting to see him dressed in the same colors he has worn since he was a youngling in Obi-Wan’s care. If he were wearing white or, or green or pink, then Obi-Wan isn’t sure he’d be able to recognize him at all.

“Are you quite alright, Master Kenobi?” the woman asks, words filtering in through the static noise in Obi-Wan’s head. 

No. Of course he is not alright.

Yes. He is better than alright. He feels as if his head has broken the surface of the water he’s been trapped under for the past nine years. He feels as if the sight of Anakin Skywalker is a sip of water when he’s on the brink of dehydration.

“You know actually I am not sure,” he tells her, which is overly personal and not at all what he’d meant to say. But that is what the sight of Anakin Skywalker does these days. It throws him off, makes him loose-tongued and off-centered.

Fuck, he thinks once, viciously. 

“If you’ll excuse me,” he tells her, carefully separating himself from her touch and taking a step away. She looks disappointed almost immediately, and Obi-Wan should care about the image he’s making, how impolite he is being, but he has bigger concerns right now. 

Anakin Skywalker is here. 

“Enjoy your evening,” he adds as he raises his flute of wine to his lips and drains it in one go. “Unfortunately, I’m going to go get incredibly drunk.”

“Uh,” the woman says, but Obi-Wan is already gone. He can’t—he can’t stay. Not in this room, not under the weight of Anakin Skywalker’s stare.

Thank the Force he started the night by giving his congratulations and warm regard to Bail. If things turn sour, he’ll be able to slip away with only minimal rudeness.

And, if he’s being quite honest, things have already soured beyond the point of salvation.

But instead of leaving—instead of slipping out the room and running back to the Temple, tail between his legs, he stays. Inexplicably, he grabs another flute of wine from a passing server and retreats to a balcony.

Fresh air will sober him up, he thinks, even as he downs half the flute. 

He should leave, he thinks, even as he stays.

He should leave—but he cannot bring himself to. Anakin is here and it’s Obi-Wan’s worst nightmare and it’s the only thing he’s desired for the past nine years.

Barely a minute passes before the balcony door opens behind him. Obi-Wan keeps his eyes pinned to the city-scape around them.

“Occupied,” he says, even though he knows who it is. Even though he knows the word is useless. Anakin will not leave until he wants to.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin says. Just his name, just three syllables.

Obi-Wan downs the rest of the flute. “Anakin,” he says, closing his eyes for a moment to gather himself before he turns to look at him.

Oh, he wishes he could blame the alcohol for how beautiful he finds him, but he knows that’s just some dark and twisted part of himself, some sinful and perverted aspect of his soul he has never been able to scrub clean.

“How are you?” He says, because he cannot let Anakin speak first. If he lets Anakin speak first, there will be a diplomatic incident, surely. If he lets Anakin speak first, Anakin will control the conversation—Anakin will tear through all of his shields and land on his sorest, most vulnerable spots. “How are the children?” “Do you even know their names?” Anakin spits back, eyebrows drawn dark and heavy over his expression. His face is flushed. He must have been drinking as well. “How old they are? Do not ask after my children as if you care about them at all, Obi-Wan—I know you don’t!”

“Luke,” Obi-Wan says. “Leia.”

Oh, he wishes Anakin were right. He wishes he didn’t know a damn thing about them, about him, about the life he lives now. One completely separate and void of Obi-Wan. 

Anakin probably does not notice his absence. After all, he has a wife, two children. A part-time job, if Bail can be believed. He wonders if he still meditates facing the wrong way, back to the sun, and suddenly his heart feels so tight he can hardly breathe through the pain.

Anakin sneers. “Whatever,” he says and reaches into the folds of his robes to pull out a silver flask. He raises it to his lips and takes a swig, rubbing a hand over his mouth when he’s done, capping it and sliding back into his robes.

It is the alcohol that loosens his tongue, Obi-Wan knows it. Obi-Wan understands that he has had too much to drink tonight to be standing before Anakin Skywalker now, that anything that comes out of his mouth will be something he regrets in the morning.

But does it really matter? How could it matter? Anakin Skywalker was his whole life for a decade and a few years, and then he left. And now a decade has passed. In five years, he will have spent longer missing him than he spent loving him. What does a few words matter now?

Obi-Wan has already lost everything. He is already made of regret.

“I don’t know why you insist on acting so hatefully,” he says. “You left.”

He means, of course, that if anyone should hate anyone here, it is Obi-Wan’s right to hate Anakin.

Impossible, as it were, but his right. Anakin left.

Obi-Wan asked him to stay.

“You kissed me,” Anakin spits back.

And yes, alright. He kissed him as well.

His fingers itch for another flute of wine. Perhaps a swallow of the flask in Anakin’s robes. Anything. Anything to dull the white-hot ache of this conversation. Anything to escape these consequences.

“Nine years ago,” he says, quietly. “It’s been nine years, Anakin.”

Let it go.

He hadn’t—he really hadn’t meant to kiss him. It had been—a foolish mistake, something that had happened late at night, a few months after the end of the war, and they had been in Obi-Wan’s quarters, drinking and talking and Anakin had said something about leaving the Order, and Obi-Wan had said something about him staying, and Anakin had said, Padmé is pregnant, and Obi-Wan—Obi-Wan had kissed him.

A foolish mistake, made only survivable by the way that, for a handful of precious seconds, Anakin had kissed him back.

Before the yelling, the hatred, the anger. The leaving. Before all of that, Anakin had kissed him back.

“I have already apologized, Anakin,” Obi-Wan whispers, exhausted, and his eyes cut away from Anakin, turn back to the city. “I have thought of that moment countless times–-and I cannot begin to explain what came over me, what I was thinking at the time.”

He just—he hadn’t wanted Anakin to leave. Had thought that perhaps if he could—if he could give Anakin himself in all the ways one person could devote themselves to another, then maybe it would be enough. Maybe he would stay.

A foolish hope, one that Obi-Wan should have known better than to entertain even for a moment.

“I have thought of it too,” Anakin says. He clears his throat. He lurches forward, unsteady on his feet. His hand comes into contact with Obi-Wan’s arm, glove on sleeve. Thank the Force for the layers still in between them.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan murmurs, and the truth is that he means it as much as he does not. He is sorry for taking the brotherhood and friendship between them and shattering it. He is sorry that he kissed Anakin, that he hastened his leave.

But he is not sorry for knowing how his lips felt against his own. How he tasted.

Obi-Wan is a lonely old man, despite the family he has surrounded himself with at the Temple. Despite his new padawan that he has been training for the past eight years. Despite the trips he takes to see his retired men, Cody and the 212th scattered across the galaxy. Despite all the ways he fills his days, all the people he meets and talks to and trains with, he is still lonely. There is still a hole in his heart, a space that Anakin used to occupy.

“I have thought of it every day since,” Anakin says, repeating himself in that way drunkards do when they have forgotten they already started the same sentence a moment before.

“I’m—”

“It has haunted me,” Anakin says. His voice is sharp and angry and Obi-Wan wants to close his eyes and shy away from it. Obi-Wan, who has faced down Separatists and sith lords and blaster fire, wants to turn tail and hide. Retreat. Retreat.

Anakin’s voice turns—darker, wilder. His hand tightens and he tugs, just hard enough that it overbalances Obi-Wan. “I am haunted by the kiss you never should have given me.”

“Had I known you were married, I never would have—”

“You ruined it,” Anakin snaps. “You ruined my marriage!”

“I…” Obi-Wan’s throat clicks, words drying out. “What?”

“We filed for separation months ago,” Anakin says. His eyes are dark; he is holding his arm so tightly that it hurts. “Joint custody of the children, but a formal divorce. Amicable.”

Obi-Wan…Obi-Wan doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know if he can speak at all.

“It wouldn’t have been amicable if she knew though,” Anakin says. He takes a step forward. Obi-Wan gives ground. He does not know how else to fight Anakin. “If she knew what I thought about when I retreated from her touch. If she knew what—who—drove me from our bed every night to walk through our house like a ghost wandering the halls.”

“If your marriage ended over a kiss I gave you nine years ago, then it is hardly my fault,” Obi-Wan says, putting his hand on Anakin’s chest to keep distance between them. When did they become so close? This is much too close. Obi-Wan can smell Anakin’s soap, his sweat. The alcohol on his breath.

“But it is,” Anakin insists, unable still it seems to take his share of the blame and make his peace with it. “It is, because I spent half my life in love with you, then I finally commit to someone else—allow myself to look and love and appreciate someone else’s beauty—and then you kiss me, as if I have not already sworn loyalty to another! As if I could be yours to kiss! As if I still was!”

Obi-Wan shakes his head, unable to do more. “It was a kiss, Anakin, it was—I assure you, I am not such a good kisser that I can be blamed for your failed marriage when it was nine years ago!”

“Then you do not remember it as well as I do,” Anakin murmurs, and now—now the rage has turned darker, heady. His eyes catch and hold onto Obi-Wan’s lips. His eyes are more black than blue. His face is flushed. He is—so handsome. So beautiful still, after all of these years. “Let me refresh your memory,” he says, and Obi-Wan—

Obi-Wan is weak when it comes to Anakin. He always has been. He is so weak. And he needs—he needs so much. He makes a sound, something embarrassingly small and desperate, and then Anakin is kissing him and it feels like being sliced open and like coming home, all at the same time. 

Like how it felt when he returned to the quarters he shared with Qui-Gon after his master had died—a homecoming, but at what cost? A death and a birth, all at the same time. He had lingered in the doorway that first time, unable to push himself across and into quarters that felt both strange and familiar. 

It had been Anakin, a small boy still, who had grabbed him by the hand and pulled him inside.

Still now, even all these years later, Obi-Wan closes his eyes and allows himself to follow Anakin’s lead. 

[emmalostinwonderland]

I'll ask for DinLuke skinny-dipping because Din deserves to get that armour off 🤭

Thanks for the ask! I haven't written DinLuke since last Christmas, and I've never dabbled with GFFA fic, but a bit of Prince of Naboo Luke/Manda'lor Din honeymoon style just sounded right. There's not a lot of water time involved, but Din does get his armor off! I hope you like sappy shit lol

Din watches wide-eyed as Luke first steps out of his shoes then begins undoing the clasp of his gown. “Luke? What… what are you doing?” The lake is beautiful, lit only by the moons in their various states of waxing and waning in Naboo’s sky. Luke is beautiful like this too – though he always is – with the moonlight draped about him like a veil. He is every bit the bride today, and Din is quick to file this memory away alongside their ceremony earlier today. He admires the slope of his riduur’s shoulders, the strength in his back and his legs as he takes a few steps into the water… his ass. Curvy. Bare. Biteable. Din swallows hard and hopes the vocoder in his helmet didn’t pick up the sound. “Aren’t you coming?” Luke turns to look back over his shoulder, laughter tucked into every part of his face and dancing in his beautiful blue eyes. “There’s no one around to see us, you know. The servants are in bed, and my family has gone back to Theed.” Din stands stiff as a board, unable to tear his eyes off the young prince. “I… my beskar’gam– my armor…” “Oh… do you not want to take it off? They said it’s allowed–” “It is. And I… I do. I– it’s just–” Luke nods and turns fully to return to shore. He doesn’t try to cover anything, and Din’s thoughts come to a screeching halt. He knows he’s staring, but he just can’t bring himself to stop. “May I help you?” Luke asks, speaking softly now that he’s close enough to touch. Din hesitates only a moment more before nodding dumbly. Luke’s hands are gentle when they touch him, first lifting his helmet and holding it out of the way with one hand so he can stroke Din’s cheek. “Hello again,” he teases. “Ner riduur. Right?” “‘Lek. Yes. Your pronunciation has improved too.” “Whatever it takes to impress you, sweetheart.” Din doesn’t say that he’s impressed with everything about Luke. He knows it’s all over his face anyway; wearing a helmet every day for most of one’s life isn’t conducive to learning to control one’s expressions. He takes a deep breath of fresh air and helps Luke carefully remove each piece of beskar until he’s standing there in just his flight suit. “There,” Luke says, stepping back. “I think you’ve got it from here, wouldn’t you say?” All Din can do is simply nod again. “Perfect. Meet me in the water when you’re ready. I want to kiss you under all the stars.”

From the ficlet friday prompts